Perceptions From Others

Marriage is a funny thing. As soon as you enter into it others refer to you as "the wife" or "the husband". For instance, today I was referred to as "the wife" by hubby's friend. Weird. I don't define myself as a wife but somehow others seem to define me this way. It's not that I find it offensive since people tend to do this for all sorts of characteristics. Ie. "the blonde", "the shorty", "the Canadian", etc. It's funny how once you're married then that's what seems to be a predominant part of your identity to others unless you don't let people know that you're married.

Another funny thing I've noticed is that because I look young for my age people don't expect me to be married. I've had a few instances since getting married that people are surprised that I'm married. Often they assume that I came from a traditional family and that I got an arranged marriage. You should see their faces when I tell them that I did not get an arranged marriage and that it was not to a person of Indian descent. 

People tend to assume things by first perception. I don't bother getting offended unless I'm either in a bad mood or can tell that they're just an asshole. I usually just brush it off and hope that I will be an example for them to live by to not judge a book by its cover.

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Joined At The Hip

Something that changes once you get married is the way others regard you. I find that a lot of people assume that Jack and I do everything together. If I'm invited out then they think Jack has to be invited too, and vice versa. I sometimes wonder if certain people avoid planning things with me because they want to do an all-girls event and don't want a guy there; as if Jack and I are somehow joined at the hip and are physically inseparable.

Why do people think that as soon as someone gets married their partner has to tag along to everything? I have a firm belief that your independence and individuality does not have to be stunted just because you get married, so it is frustrating to feel like others keep thinking of me as a couple instead of an individual. I try to let people know that I'm available to do things without Jack and that we are both completely fine with each other spending time with other people, but it doesn't seem to always work. I just hope that this way that we're treated doesn't lead us to become one of those stupid couples that cannot do anything without the other one there. Talk about boring and pathetic. I think if I ever get to that point, realizing that my life has become that way will make me regret getting married.

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Reopened

It's been quite a while since I posted an entry on here. To be honest, as soon as the wedding was done I was so tired of it that I didn't want to do anything else wedding related except the necessities (read: writing thank you cards). After that period ended I became more obsessed with my photoblog and neglected this one. I've decided to post the occasional entry on here regarding marriage and married life. I guess I should update on post-wedding stuff first though, so look forward to those entries. Right now though I will recap the wedding as I can remember it almost a year after. =P

The wedding went very smoothly, which I attribute to organized planning, helpful family & friends, hired coordinators, and God's grace. It was the only weekend that month that did not rain, so a big shout out to God on that one. It was overcast skies, which made it perfect for outdoor pics at noon - not too much sunshine. We took our photos on location of the ceremony and then later did our wedding party shoot at the Historical District in Toronto. We had people who stopped to watch us take pictures, which made it super awkward at times. So know that if you are planning to take your wedding pictures in a very public area, you will have people stop and stare so just be prepared to ignore them. There were a lot of nice people though who kept complimenting us on how great we all looked. We even had a random group of people (I think tourists) stop and take a photo with us. Random!

The ceremony had a few entertaining moments, such as me stopping a couple of times down the isle to fix my sari so that I wouldn't trip. Everyone there pretty much knew I don't wear saris so it was an entertaining moment for them. Another humorous moment was when Jack's phone rang in the middle of his vows. He was super quick to turn it off though. Cat-like reflexes! We got it in the video too, so all these good times were captured for us to watch later. Which reminds me, beware of watching your wedding video soon after you get married. It may burst your perfect bubble because what you think happened may not be as dramatic or special as you experienced it to be. So wait until you're 'lala' feelings about the wedding have passed before watching it. 

The reception went fairly smoothly as well. I had overestimated the time it would take for the first few items in the itinerary so our guests were given about 15-20 minutes to mingle, get drinks at the bar and come up to take pictures of us before we continued with the festivities. It was unplanned but turned out to be a great way for everyone to do what they needed to do before an hour of dinner and speeches. We ended up having to play a few games to entertain the guests, which everyone loved. I felt like the first dance was awkward and the longest part of the day, but everyone else said it was sweet. After that it was all boogie time from then on. The food was great, the guests were fun and the music was amazing. It was a great night to follow up a fun day.

I'm not going to post any wedding pics here just because I can't control who can save and distribute them. If you know me personally then you can see it on my FB account. To everyone else, sorry but my privacy is important to me. Also, the comments are currently closed right now because I thought I wasn't going to monitor the site anymore. I'll reopen the comment section later so if you need my immediate attention then you can email me at jam [dot] slicio [dot] us [at] gmail [dot] com.

 

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Photoblog

I have started a photoblog to post pictures of our trips and travels. Naturally I have started with our most recent trip - our honeymoon to Japan. You can check those pictures out here

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This Is Fucking Toronto

I've been thinking about something that has really peeved me. Jack and I went into a CIBC branch and a TD branch to get Yen, and they both didn't have any. The CIBC branch said the one in the financial district sometimes carries it but you know what TD said? They didn't stock Yen because it is 'too foreign' (unlike USD and Euros). WTF. This is fucking Toronto. Can we BE anymore multicultural? They might as well just blatantly say that they only have White country monies. Such bullshit.

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